You want to workout to see physical results. But you’re supposed to accept & love yourself. So which one is it?

I got a DM on Instagram from one of you guys recently that really struck a cord with me. The message I received was along the lines of a girl wanting to loose some body fat, but felt bad about feeling that way because we are told to love and accept ourselves. She said those messages were confusing. And I thought, ummm, HELL YES THEY ARE! I don’t know why it just hit me in that moment how conflicting those messages are. On the one hand, we are constantly told to love ourselves just how we are, yet we are also flooded with information “how to get in shape” and “how to feel confident” –all of which typcially include making changes to our diet and workout routine.


So, yes, those messages are super confusing and conflicting even. But here’s my take on it. I will first say this–there is nothing wrong with wanting to “look good.” I’m not going to sit here and pretend that it doesn’t feel great to be in your best physical shape. I’m not going to tell you that you don’t need to set a (physical) goal for yourself because you want to look a certain way. I get that part of feeling confident in your own skin comes from how you look.


What I will tell you is that you need to understand that happiness doesn’t come from looking a certain way. It feels great to work towards a physical goal you have, and as a result of your progress you should feel good about yourself and should feel proud! But, you have to realize that just because you aren’t there yet, doesn’t mean that you should carry around negative thoughts towards yourself. For example, right now I am eating more carbs because I am trying to gain more muscle. Do I love myself less now because I am carrying more body fat while my carbs are increased, no! I don’t look at myself and think, “Wow. If only I was leaner, then I would be happier with who I am as a person.”


I guess my point is this. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel great in your own skin, and sometimes that may include fat or weight loss. Or maybe that includes trying to put on weight or muscle. Meaning– just because you are working towards a goal doesn’t mean that there is nothing wrong with how you are now! You can be excited about hitting that goal but you don’t need to have negative self talk during the process.

Any thoughts on this topic?? Would love to hear what you guys think xx C

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*PS. This crop & leggings can be found at Sculptique and you can use CLAIRE20 for a discount! I couldn’t link them above but figured you guys would want a discount if you can get one! Here are the leggings & here is the crop top! Both fit true to size; I’m wearing a small in leggings (the cropped version) and a medium in the crop.

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6 thoughts on “You want to workout to see physical results. But you’re supposed to accept & love yourself. So which one is it?

  1. Tell Stephen I’m liking the edit on these photos!! A little moodier and I’m digging it. I also really enjoy this post for a lot of reasons, but mainly the fact that it’s ok to be content, but ambitious. You don’t have rob yourself of the joy that having a goal or a journey in regards to fitness just because you are making changes. Enjoy the challenges and discipline that fitness provides, but don’t obsess over it. Very well stated, I loved reading!

    1. Thanks girl! I actually edited them 😉 but yes totally agree. Like, you can have ambition and drive but you can also learn to find joy in the process! Couldn’t have said it better myself! Thanks babe 😊

  2. Hi Claire,

    I agree with what you said. It is very hard to know what to do and how to feel. I want to share that I have had always body issues– always wanting to weigh just under 130. For so long I was always making sure that I ate less carbs to maintain my weight, but I was never actually happy with myself. Over the years, I have gradually learned to love my body and am learning how to be healthier everyday. Thank you for the post!


    1. Yes totally! Happiness doesn’t come from being a certain size or weight but overall just making healthier choices makes you feel good and that’s something we should all strive for!

  3. I think this is a really good conversation to have! Some of the arguments I hear for being totally anti “diet” are like well I’m happy with my body the way it is, and that’s wonderful. But for me, if I don’t set a plan then I’ll eat 20 brownies and I certainly don’t feel full of self love and happy with my body when that happens. So maybe a happy medium is, have a plan that benefits both your physical and emotional being.

    1. Yes I totally agree! There’s a difference between accepting and loving yourself and also just not giving a shit and letting go! I think your happy medium is exactly what people should strive for!

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